The Funny Crap

Ok here is where people can submit jokes or topics for jokes that others here can discuss and edit. Then we can figure out how to implement it all into the story.

Arms race
Ok here where the title of my introduction thread (when I first joined CS) comes from.

Dr. and Heero are in their usual stand-off when Dr. breaks Heero's giant-ass sword. Heero then (after a good moment of shock) improvises and jams his stump of a sword into a nearby SUV. He then proceeds to use this combination as an improvised sword. After dodging a few swings from Heero (and not wanting to be outdone) Dr. performs a flash-step and seems to escape. Thinking that he has won, Heero gloats about his uber awesomeness UNTIL Dr. returns with a dun dun DUNNNN... battleship on a stick (literally, a whole f'ing battleship) then he casually tosses off a lame one-liner like "I call this the 'SS pwns joo'" and the battle (and destruction of Tokyo) resumes.

super awesome metamorphosis:

Dr. and Magic Girl meet for the first time in an eventual standoff...after a brief pause...Dr. relaxes

Dr: soo...what exactly is it that you do anyways..?

Magic Girl:...(incredibly long metamorphosis scene...at least a page long)

Magic Girl *poofs* into Chibi Magic Girl

Dr:...uhh...creepy...anything else?

Magic Girl:...(also incredibly long metamorphosis scene)

Magic Girl *poofs* into Chibi Magic Catgirl.

Dr:...I'm leaving

Magic Girl: Mrow

free time

Heero and Dr. are in, yet agian, another standoff...This is the moment when Heero pulls out his own "Kamehameha" blast thing (but with more syllables...right now we need to determine what it's called) for the first time. This (like just about anything else in this story) takes a really long time...and just before Heero is about to unleash it on Dr. he notices Dr, catches himself and stops.

Heero: What are you doing?

Dr: eatin'...a hot dog

Heero: you went and got a HOT DOG!?!?!

Dr: yeah well...you were taking awhile and I kinda got hungry...there's a cart down the block. Want me to go get you one?

Heero: aww c'mon why did you...what...is that?

Dr: oh...well when I got back you were still goin at it so I kinda got bored...and made a birdhouse (holds it up)

Heero: *fuming*....y'know what? screw this...I give up. If you can't take this seriously then I'm leaving.

Who f*cked with the gravity?

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
* Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

1. Some one does a high jumping attack and gets stuck. They just float there in mid-air. The opponent then decides to get a ladder. When they climb they ladder, instead of helping the person, they start to spin the victim (as if they were in zero G) and generally play around with the helpless character (throw stuff at him, etc).

2. Obviously, every once and awhile, another hero will come to challenge Dr. In one case, the hero chases Dr to the top of a building. When he finally perform their high jumping power attack, they get sucked into a jet engine.

Boob jokes

1. Lilith will defeat an enemy (male) by flashing him and therefore delivering a giant paralyzing nosebleed.

2. Lilith's cleavage is where her access to Hammerspace is. Not only will she pull some goofy stuff out of there...but at one point she will accidentally removing her own bra (considering what I had in mind for her evil outfit, this joke will probably have to take place when she's in civilian clothing).

3. Dr. get's in an argument with the narrator (the box usually in the upper-right corner).Flexing his powers as narrator (and to punish doctor) he states "and Dr. Baron von Evilsatan suddenly grew boobs". Dr, would then *poof* into a very girlish Dr. Baron von Evilsatan complete with a huge rack. Dr. then proceeds to exclaim "God dammit!", he tears down the narrator box and throw it in a closet where he apparantly keeps several other narrator boxes.

incompetant zombies

Ud will flex his necronomical (word?) powers for the first time and summon a horde of zombies...the problem is that these zombies seem to be only interested in smoking pot (probably the biggest problem Ud has with his zombies). Dr. is furious with his incompetence, and then suddenly gets an idea. He dashes off and returns quickly with something in his arms. He dashes towards the opponent and tosses him the items. As the opponent inspects his gift, he discovers that they are bags of (insert obvious knock-off of cheetos and funyuns). The zombies take notice, and chase after their relief to the munchies.

EVIL MECHA HORSE OF DOOM

(this joke takes place back at Evil community college where Dr. is taking and mechanics course)

Professor: excellent job Dr. Baron von Evilsatan, a dastardly evil mecha horse that will do any villain proud. I especially like the intricate paint scheme.
Dr.:...but...its all black
Professor: BRILLIANT!!!!
Dr.:...right, so does this fix my grade?
Professor: I have just one question. I do not see any volatile power cells or badly protected fuel tanks...what exactly is powering this thing?
Dr....uhhh
*single panel of Ertauq (obviously inside the mecha horse) running inside a large hamster wheel*

The narrator should be a recurring character that dies... a lot. And is kinda bitchy and mocks any character at any given point.
~if he's a disembodied voice how can he die? and yes he'll mock the characters and flaunt his narrator abilities

And eventually goes to a psychologist and confesses that he's only mean because he's just a floating voice.
~Sure, although we might have the box that shows up in the upper right corner lie on the Freud couch.

Heero and Petulina get married, and Heero and Dr. try their best not to fight in the aisles.
~Again, Dr. and Heero are the same age...that means no children.

Heero and the Dr. both go to the same movie, and Heero spends the first half hour throwing popcorn at the Dr.'s head. Fight ensues, and they are kicked out of the cinema.
~Possible

Heero is weedy and the Dr. speaks alternately with a posh british accent and like a valley girl (e.g: DR - And now, old chum, you are doomed! Wahahaha!
[Dr. ducks a spanner]
DR - Oh Em Gee, you <i>so</i> did not just do that! Rude, much?!).
~'Weedy'?...the British accent generally sounds very stupid in text. The Valley girl think might work but probably for a different character.


They all speak in Chatspeak for a page.
~...or L33T

Mortimer is secretly a famous movie actor.
~If they're emo movies
The two groups try to do a group attack that just ends up summoning their good/evil clones from an alternate universe.
~There's more possibilities that just good/evil clone summoning.

The Goodies act like middle managment (EXPOSITION - And good has been up by 2.3% in this past season. Good job everyone, you can expect a bonus cheque in the mail).
~Something like that, yeah

Someone complains about how they're trying to destroy Tokyo. AGAIN. ("What is this, the 70th time Tokyo's been destroyed?!" "68th.")
~and get's rebuilt in a day (note that everything in Tokyo is naturally more volatile and therefore highly likely to explode, no matter what it is)

They all run into each other in the supermarket. None of them can actually speak Japanese, and spend a while trying to hide the fact from each other. Eventually, Dr. catches Heero failing, and when asked something by a different store clerk, he replies: "... wakka wakka sushi ninja?"
~wakka wakka Ramen Ninja...? both sound great and will probably me the name of the theme song.

This whole thing kinda sounds like a Capulet Counterpart of the Non-Adventures of Wonderella. Fun!