Part II...B*tches!!

Tori: So what now?

Dr: We get ourselves some supplies.

(Black frame with writing “14 disguises, 37 trip lasers, 5 slow-motion fight sequences, and 3 police chases later”)

(frame to all four characters loaded down with weapons and evil stuff. They’re all out of breath. *Dr is now in his normal costume for the series)

Tato: Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to sneak into the Pirate Headquarters disguised as Ninjas.

Dr: I’m just glad Ertauq is bullet-proof.

Tato: So what’s left for us to get?

Tori: I’m hungry.

Tato: I’m horny.

Dr: Haven’t you face-humped enough security guards already?

Tato: No

Dr: Well, let’s see what’s left on the list.

(List-checking is framed to each item or pile of items)

Dr: Weapons (Ertauq included) check
Explosives…check
Traps…check
Poorly Engineered Doomsday Devices…check
Sinister Shampoos, Lotions, and Body Oils…check
Evil Loofa…check

Tori: (Interrupts) WHAT?!

Dr: (without looking up from list) they’re Ertauq’s

Villain Regalia…Hell Yes

Henchmen… (Tato has a bomb in his mouth, and Tori is wearing a medieval great helm and trying to lift a broadsword)…questionable. So all we have left is an evil lair and a secret identity.

Tori: and Food.

Tato: and Bitches!!

Dr: I should probably get a job somewhere. It should be discreet, like at..(looks up to see a sign in a window reading “Help Wanted”, The camera zooms out to show the entirety of Taco Juan’s) Taco…Juan’s. That’s convenient.

Tori: (tugging on Dr’s sleeve and points) ooh! (Camera to sign next to “Help Wanted” reading “Free Food for all Applicants”)

Tato: (tugging on Dr’s sleeve and points) ooh ooh!! (Camera to sign next to sign next to” Help Wanted” reading “And Bitches”)

Dr: Stay HERE!
(Dr. Enters Taco Juan’s)

Dr: Hello? Are you still hiring?

(Hot, busty, scantily-clad girl turns to face Dr)

Lilith: Yes?

Dr: Wow, you’re hot.

Lilith: What?

Dr: I mean…you look kind of slutty for someone who works in fast food.

Lilith: That’s a really strange thing to say to someone you’ve just met.

Dr: It’s better than a nosebleed

Lilith: Huh?

Dr: Never mind

Lilith: It’s because I’m the designated Eye Candy for this location. We’re trying to hook more teenagers into eating here.

Dr: Is it working?

(Lilith leans over the counter, showing off her cleavage)

Lillith: like you wouldn’t believe

Dr: ...Nice boobs

Lilith: Why thank you! Now you wanted a job?

Dr: Yes, please.

Lilith: All right (pulls a pen and paper out of her cleavage)

Dr: *?*

(Q & A session)

Lilith: Name? uhh…Doc
(raises eyebrow) full name Doc….Tor
Have you had any past experience in fast food? No
Are you an outgoing person? No
Would you describe yourself as a ‘people person? No
Do you know how to cook? No
Will you stop staring at my chest? No
Do you hate the color green? Yes
Do you have a criminal record? Maybe
Maybe? Haven’t been caught yet
Do you have any hobbies? Arson
Can you speak Japanese? ….Waka Waka Ramen Ninja
What would you say is your greatest flaw? Homicidal Tendencies

Lilith: Great you’re hired. Sign here

Dr: (Signs) Well, Thank you (Dr see’s Tato and Tori looking at him from the outside giving him the ‘puppy eyes’ again)…uhhh may I have my free food…and…bitches?

Lilith: oh…no we only give those to the applicants we turn down.

Dr: Aww…can’t I just-

Lilith: (Punts Dr. through ceiling) GET TO WORK!!

(Another black screen noting the day “Tuesday”)

Dr: (disheveled and in a Taco Juan’s uniform) Oh dear God this was a bad idea.

Lilith: Get some God-Damned tortillas from the storeroom! And fix the damn hole in the ceiling!

Dr: (looks up to see a hole cutout of him in the ceiling and sky and clouds through the hole) technically you put it there…I was just the projectile.

Lilith: I swear to God! If you question me one more time!!

Dr: Yes, in the box I go, Sorry I’ll get on it.

(Dr. enters storeroom and grabs a box)

Dr: *thought* This woman is more evil than I am, The customers are douches, and I’m getting 10 yen an hour…howeverthehell much that is.

(Dr. notices a rotting trap door with a rusted lock. He approaches the door and breaks off the lock. As he grabs the handle, he notices writing on the door reading “Impending Doom”)

Dr: *shrugs* Meh
(Dr opens the door and creeps down the stairs. When he reaches the bottom his mouth drops)

Dr:…wow!

(Camera spans to encompass a huge open room with stone walls and a Dragon skeleton in the center)

(Camera moves to the outside in an alley where Tori and Ertauq are sitting by a dumpster. Ertauq is holding a pet caddy with what looks to be a sleeping Tato inside)
Dr: (burst through a door) hey guy! Come Look!

(All characters are now in the new lair)

Dr: Isn’t it beautiful?

Tori: It’s empty.

Dr: Don’t worry, we can make renovations.

Tori: How?

Dr: With the stuff we stole, and I have a degree in Evil Interior Decorating so we’re all set!

Tori: So we can let Tato out?

Dr; If he keeps the face-humping to a minimum.

(Dr takes cage from Ertauq, opens it, and tilts it so Tato falls out onto the ground. After a brief pause and Dr nudging Tato with his foot…)

Dr: Wait, am I supposed to feed you guys?